How to build a full moon ritual you'll actually keep

Lots of people start a monthly ritual and let it slip by the third month. That usually has nothing to do with willpower. Nothing reminds them, and a habit that depends on remembering is easy to lose.

So it helps to tie your ritual to something that shows up on its own. The full moon works well for this. It comes around about every twenty-nine and a half days, it's on the calendar whether you're paying attention or not, and you can see it from almost anywhere. A postcard in the mail works the same way, which is the idea behind Luna Post: the card arrives, and your ritual starts because it's already in your hands.

Here are three versions. Feel free to switch between them depending on the kind of month you're having.

The three-minute version

Start here, especially if other rituals haven't stuck for you. You can do it right after you bring in the mail.

• Read the note once, out loud if you're alone.
• Ask yourself one question: what did that remind me of?
• Write your answer in one sentence, on an envelope or in your phone, and add the date.

That counts as a full practice, and it adds up. Twelve short dated sentences, one for each moon, can tell the story of a year better than most journals people start and never finish.

The twenty-minute version

This one follows the same steps with a little more time. It helps to use the same spot each month, because the place itself starts to remind you what it's for.

1. Look back at the month. Take two minutes with your phone in another room. What happened since the last full moon, as opposed to what you planned?
2. Read the note. Read it once, then again more slowly. If there's a tarot card on it, look at the picture for a moment before reading what it means.
3. Write for ten minutes. Set a timer and stop when it goes off, even in the middle of a sentence.
4. Pick one thing to do. Keep it small enough that you won't need to schedule it, and write it somewhere you'll see it.
5. Give the card a home. Pin it up, prop it on a shelf, or tape it inside a cabinet door. It becomes your reminder for next month.

The hour, if you're in the mood

This is where you can make it feel like an occasion: a candle, a favorite tea, the same song every month, a bath, or a short walk outside to see the moon. None of it is required. Doing the same small things each time simply tells your mind this is our time for this, and that makes it easier to come back to.

Some people like to use this longer version to set an intention for the month, or to name something they want to call in. If that feels good to you, write it down in plain words and add one step you could take toward it this week. That way the energy of the evening has somewhere to go.

If you live with other people, doing it together on the same evening turns it into a standing plan, and plans are much easier to keep than good intentions.

When you miss one, and you will

At some point a full moon will pass while you're traveling, sick or just busy, and the postcard will wait on the counter for a week. That happens to everyone.

When it does, do the ritual late. That's the whole plan. If a ritual only counts on the exact night, one missed night can end it. If you can do it on the fourteenth when the moon was full on the fifth, you'll probably still be doing it a year from now. The moon won't mind.

Why the object matters

You could do all of this with a phone reminder, and some people do. Many of us would swipe the reminder away, though, while a postcard has to be picked up and moved. That small bit of effort helps, and we explain why in why paper still works when notifications don't. It's also why every Luna Post card has art on the front worth keeping, so each month leaves something behind. If you're wondering what to do with the cards as they pile up, there are nine ideas here.

The next full moon is already on its way. You can have a card waiting for it.